Some Woody Allen Quotes..

Luna Schlosser: What do you believe in?
Miles Monroe: Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But, at least after death you're not nauseous.

My brain?! That's my second favorite organ!

Luna Schlosser: It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for 200 years.
Miles Monroe: 204, if you count my marriage.

Death should not be seen as the end, but as a very effective way to cut down expenses.

[Whilst In California.]
Annie: It's so clean out here!
Alvy (Woody): That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

[on sex]
It was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.

I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition.

I took one course in existential philosophy at, eh.... New York University, and on, uh, on the final ... they gave me 10 questions, and, uh, I couldn't answer a single one of them. You know? I left 'em all blank... got a hundred.

Sometimes to have a little good luck is the most brilliant plan.

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.

Nothing's wrong with science. Ya know, between, between air conditioning and the Pope, I'll take air conditioning.

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.