Getting inside a train in Mumbai

Getting inside a train in mumbai is scarry. You need to have large quantity of Old Monk booze inside you to think of even attemping it. The approach road to the railway station is the point of departure for any quality that is attributed to homo sapiens.People suddenly become cattle, switch off their brains and go auto-pilot. Then like in a trance they join the ones already on the move. They push and snort and kick and chew and stink and moow/brey and step on each others hoofs without mercy.They climb up and down the stairs and finally reach the so called platform.

Mean while some of the cattle might have lost their humbs,fodder, hoofs, brothers&sisters&offspring (courtesy;Bollywood). On the platform the great mass of restless cattle will be pulsing irregularly at the edges where the trains are supposed to come. Finally when the train arrives the clot of cattle wont move back so that the ones in the line of fire can save their noses, boobs, pricks and the toenails from being rudely tickled by the rowdy train. Now that the train have thundered its way in, it triggers off the famous adrenaline rush in the already restless cattle, causing great turbulance inside the dirty bowels of the station. Every beast on the platform has only one motto in his/her mouth."Every cow/bull for himself,the train agaist all". Then the train suddenly stops on the dot. Yes on the dot. No courtesy slowing down for the old cow's sake. On the dot. Suddenly in a great uproar all the bulls shout "cows first" and do the famous dance number "stampede in savanna" by the famous group: The Wilderbeasts. Pure headbanging madness is what follows. Remember Toilet flush. Please dont flush, its the truth.

Avalanche. Landslide. Till the Iron beast is full.

To conclude,let me put down what the railway station has to say about the incident." Once train stopped inside me, like a huge vaccum hose with mouths all over the body, it sucked in almost all the cattle on the plat form."
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